Ash's Third
by Neo Namco
Summary: Twenty years later, Ash is still trying to achieve legit coitous and close a disturbing chapter in his life. His destiny concludes in the third installment of the trilogy.
1. Ash's Continuous Disappointment

**Ash's Third**

It's a rainy, gloomy, and depressing day at Hell Cemetery in Pallet Town. A gathering of familiar faces crowd together within the confines in front of a casket and gravestone, dressed in black suits and dresses, hoisting up umbrellas over their heads to keep dry as they sulk.

Ash stands directly in front of the gravestone, holding hands with his mother, who holds hands with her husband, James. Their son, Dust stands close to his mother.

Tracy stands in between his wife, Duplica and his daughter, Phoebe. Tears strain down his cheeks as he mourns the loss.

Also feeling the pain are Max and Molly, who shed some tears of their own, with their daughter Monica in between them.

Misty and her daughter Ashley stand behind Ash. Misty has one hand on his shoulder and her other hands softly rubs his back to provide him physical comfort.

Todd stands by May and their son, Joey who fight back the tears. Huddled next to them are Gisele and her son Ross.

Roxanne comforts her husband Brock, who wipes a tear from his eye and puts an arm around his son, Chandler.

Jessie's hair is dyed black to fit the mood of the situation. She stands next to the Pallet Town mayor, Dawn and Rick Sure, who is documenting the funeral with his camera.

Gary Oak stands next to the casket, speaking about the deceased loved one. The gravestone behind him reads: Samuel Oak 1943-2030.

"He was an honest man. He was a giving man. He was a great man. And he was a Packers fan. But I…I was his biggest fan." Gary speaks to his friends "My grandpa lived a long and meaningful life of professionalism and family values up until last week…when he had a stroke while having sex with a prostitute at my brothel."

A combination of gasps, gagging, shudders, and "ew's" emits from the group.

"At least he died having fun…right?" Brock says aloud. Silence follows…

"I'd like to say a few words." Tracy steps forward.

"Okay, man." Gary shakes his hand and gives him a pat on the back.

Ash sighs, knowing how hard it must be on Tracy, who has spent more time with the professor than anyone else in the last 30 years, and was chosen over his own grandson to take over the lab.

"First of all I idolized the professor and his work when I was coming of age as a young teenager. And it happened by chance that I not only got to meet him, but got to work with him, and become family." he wipes a tear from his eye. "I wanna thank you, Ash."

Ash's eyes enlarge "Um?"

"If it weren't for you I never would have met the professor and had the time of my life. I wouldn't be here today. Sammy was sweet, and smart, and funny. And he had the best poems. And I'd like to read one right now." Tracy pulls out a small note card from his front pants pocket and proceeds to read. He clears his throat "Every day it's cake and tea. Just my poke'mon and…meee" he begins to sob. "I miss you, professor!"

Duplica rushes over and wraps her arms around him "There there, Trace." she kisses his forehead.

"Muk!" Ash's Muk crawls forward from the crowd and smothers Tracy in a display of love.

Everyone laughs, finding it to be a perfect setting as the casket is lowered into the Earth. The professor's funeral song of choice plays:

_I've listened to preachers  
>I've listened to fools<br>I've watched all the dropouts  
>Who make their own rules<br>One person conditioned to rule and control  
>The media sells it and you live the role <em>

_Mental wounds still screaming  
>Driving me insane<br>I'm going off the rails on a crazy train  
>I'm going off the rails on a crazy train(Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne)<em>

Proceeding the funeral, all but Dawn and Todd make their way to Ash's mansion to eat and mingle. This was the first time all these people were together in so many years. And unfortunately it took a funeral to reunite them. Ash realized this, as he stood in the background of the mix of people, gazing over the faces of his friends and family, reflecting on all the good times.

Time went by so fast, leaving behind cherished memories that he once took for granted. He smiles, and some tears strain down his cheeks as he reminisces. He once considered his sexual journeys to get laid as stress filled encounters, but now wished more than anything that he could re-live those moments rather than be stuck in a gym all day teaching young poke'mon trainers.

"I guess I should just accept that the crazy train has ended." he says allowed to himself.

"Who are you talking to, Ash?" his brother Dust shatters his nostalgia mind trip.

"Uh, Pikachu." he answers.

"Dude, Pikachu died years ago." Dust reminds him.

"Oh. Right." Ash frowns.

"Come on, bro. Let's hit the bar." Dust leads the way to the kitchen in front of a counter lined with numerous choices in alcohol.

"Ash, no." Delia steps in between him and the counter "You drink enough as it is."

"Come on, Mom. It's a celebration of life. Let the man have a drink." Dust tells her.

Delia sighs "Okay fine. But you're quitting tomorrow, mister." she walks away.

Ash proceeds to mix some drinks together.

"Are you okay?" Dust asks, concerned.

"Yeah. Thanks, Dust. Now go on. Go hit on some girls." Ash smiles.

"At a funeral party? If I can call it that…" Dust says.

"Like you said. It's a celebration of life. Go make life happen." Ash nudges his brother in the shoulder.

"All right, bro." Dust smiles and sets his eyes on a green haired girl with her hair in a pony tail drinking in front of the table. It's Tracy and Duplica's daughter, Phoebe. He walks towards her, but stops when Brock's son, Chandler confronts her.

"Hi I'm Chandler. What's your name, beautiful?"

"Phoebe." she smiles.

Dust sighs and walks away in search of someone else to talk to.

"Are you doing anything later?" Chandler asks.

"I don't think so." Phoebe replies.

"How'd you like to do me later?" Chandler winks.

"Ugh. No thanks." Phoebe walks away.

Ash walks up to him laughing "You have your dad's scent."

"What does that mean?" Chandler asks.

"Your scent drives the ladies away." Ash laughs and takes a drink.

"I'm just warming up, poke'fucker." Chandler also takes a drink.

"Hey." Ash frowns

"Don't you have a poke'mon to fuck?" Chandler walks away.

"At least I'm not a virgin." Ash says, stopping Chandler in his tracks.

Chandler turns around "What? What makes you think I'm a virgin?"

"Your dad told me. He tells me everything. Like how you got suspended from school for jerking off in math class." Ash laughs.

"It was Earth science!" Chandler storms into the living room and finds his dad talking to Misty. "Dad, a word please?"

"Sure. What's up son?" Brock walks over with a beer in hand.

"Why are you telling people shameful things about me?" Chandler asks, upset.

"Hey there's nothing shameful about having sex with sandwich meat…" Brock says "it's the putting it back in the fridge I didn't like."

"You told Ash I'm a virgin." Chandler crosses his arms.

"What do you care? That guy had sex with his mom and a poke'mon. You can't beat that." Brock laughs, clearly been drinking.

"You're supposed to be the only one who knows this crap about me. I don't think I can trust you anymore." Chandler storms off.

"What's wrong with Chandler?" Misty asks, walking up to Brock.

"Oh he's just mad because I told Ash he fucked a sandwich." Brock reveals.

Misty makes a look of disgust "Well I shouldn't be surprised. You used to do it with spam on our poke'mon adventure."

Brock laughs "Ah yes. I told you guys I had a date with a girl named Pam. And you guys bought it."

"Yeah until we caught you on your… "date"." Misty shudders at the memory.

Meanwhile Dust finds one of his best friends standing near the entrance of the kitchen. "What up man?" Dust fist bumps Ross.

"I'm watching this guy take some shots." Ross gestures to the bar where Chandler inhales some Tequila.

"Oh. My brother told me he got suspended once for jerking off in math class." Dust reveals.

"Damn. That takes balls." Ross says.

"So do you wanna play some Wii or what?" Dust asks.

"Dude, I'm thinking about fucking Monica tonight." Ross winks.

"Huh? You can't just decide you're gonna fuck her. It doesn't work like that." Dust tells him.

"I just have to turn on the charm." Ross rubs his hands together and licks his lips, while gazing at Monica on the couch with Phoebe.

"I don't think it's gonna be that easy." Dust looks away and puts a hand on his head.

"Come on. Your girl is there. Mine is there. Let's grow a pair and go hit on them." Ross makes his way over to the couch. Dust sighs and follows him.

Ash watches his younger brother or half-brother confront his crush. He smiles as he absorbs the scene from afar. He found it hard to believe that his baby brother was almost a legal adult now. Seeing this only made him yearn more for the past.

"How are you doing, Ash?" Rick asks him.

"I should beat the crap out of you." Ash replies.

"What for?" Rick asks, nervously.

"For photographing me that night…what the fuck else?" Ash reminds him.

"That was almost twenty years ago. And besides Todd exploited your other…bizarre encounter. Are you gonna beat him up?" Rick asks.

Ash opens his mouth to speak, but then closes it, having lost the will to fight and be angry. "I should. But I think I've actually moved past all that."

"Good. We were just doing our jobs you know. And maybe now you can finally find that real genuine girl you've been looking for." Rick says, and walks off with a camera in hand.

"Maybe he's right…" Ash thinks aloud.

Back to Ross and Dust making their moves on the girls on the couch. "So do you ladies wanna…play some 'wii" you know?" he makes a gesture with his hand like he's smoking.

"Yeah totally." Monica smiles and gets up.

"Well then let's go." Ross takes Monica's hand and leads the way to Dust's room with Phoebe and the bedroom owner close behind.

The kids/teens walk down the hall, which Gary treads down heading for the bathroom. He opens the door to find a completely nude Brock standing there. "Ahh!" he shrieks.

"What the hell are you doing?" Brock asks, covering his package with his hands 'because one hand isn't enough' he thinks.

"What are you doing? Why are you naked?" Gary asks, shielding his eyes. The traumatic memories from their encounter long ago slashes through their minds

"This is a mansion. There's like ten other bathrooms you can use." Brock reminds him.

Gary slams the door shut and sighs heavily. He walks over to the master bedroom bathroom and opens the door. There he's frozen at the sight of Brock's son, Chandler also completely naked, fucking a milk carton full of cooked macaroni. He was moaning softly.

"Oh dear god." Gary face palms.

"Dude what the fuck?" Chandler stops thrusting, but does not remove his penis from the carton.

"Are you talking to yourself cause what the fuck is right. What's wrong with you?" Gary crosses his arms and shakes his head in disappointment.

"I was horny okay and-and this is all I could find." Chandler sweat drops.

"You know there are girls your age here right?" Gary raises an eyebrow. "though I am impressed you were able to construct such a tool"

"They don't wanna have sex with me." Chandler frowns "now get out of here so I can finish."

"Okay." Gary turns around "just so you know, I run a brothel in town." he walks away.

Chandler's jaw drops "…a what?" he asks himself out loud, and then resumes fucking the milk carton.

Gary walks back into the hall just as Brock walks out of the bathroom. The two turn their heads and continue on their way. Gary enters the bathroom and Brock walks down the hall with an object in hand, and into the kitchen where Ash is eating.

"Hey super Ash bro." Brock greets his friend.

"Uh hey. What's that?" Ash asks, referring to the item in Brock's arms.

"This is the IntoxiTector." Brock holds it out with a grin.

"Why did you bring that?" Ash asks.

"I found it in the bath tub being used as a drain clog." Brock answers.

"Oh yeah."

"It's gonna help me find a piece of vulnerable ass." Brock winks.

"Brock you're fifty!" Ash rolls his eyes.

"I'm still in my forties, bro." Brock reminds him.

"Well…you're married. What about that?" Ash crosses his arms.

"Ugh. I'm tired of being married." Brock sticks his tongue out.

"But you love your wife." Ash says.

"Don't you dare say I love my wife, Ash!" Brock yells.

"Keep it down. How much have you been drinking?" Ash reads the meter on the IntoxiTector revealing he can be taken advantage of.

"I will not keep it down. I will keep it up as nature intended." Brock puts the detector on the table.

"Uhh…" Ash scratches his head.

"I am a horn-dog-type. That's who I am. That's why I've been training my son to stay on the sex freak path. That's why he fucked a sandwich and drank the rest of your milk and cooked macaroni. I encourage him to do those things. You can't just go right into pussy. You gotta train and it feels like a sandwich." Brock explains.

"I don't get the milk and macaroni thing but pussy does not feel like a sandwich." Ash raises an eyebrow at his drunk friend.

"Psh. What do you know? You only fucked your mom."

"And a Jynx…" Ash reminds him.

"What was that like anyways?" Brock asks, leaning in towards Ash.

"I'm not gonna tell you. You'll tell other people." Ash gently shoves his friend back.

"No I won't." Brock makes a pouty face.

"You told everyone that your son fucked a sandwich." Ash reminds him.

"That's different." Brock responds.

"How so?" Ash asks with his arms crossed.

"Because you're not my son. I care about you." Brock places a hand on Ash's shoulder.

"Aww…" Ash smiles "well if you must know…have you ever done it with a watermelon?"

"No but I think about trying it every summer." Brock rubs his chin.

"Well it's like that. You just drill a hole into it. Cock size of course and…" Ash stops talking when he notices Ashley standing in the entrance of the kitchen.

"I don't wanna know." she says, walking to the garbage can to throw something away.

"Hey Ashley come stand next to the IntoxiTector." Brock says.

She stares at him for a few seconds "Why?"

"I wanna know if you're drunk enough to fuck." Brock explains.

Ash face palms.

"No thanks, uncle Brock." she walks out of the kitchen.

"I'm not your real uncle!" Brock shouts.

"At least you aren't her god father." Ash sighs "that means I have zero chance."

In the living room Tracy, Duplica, Delia, Max, and Joey are watching television.

"This is Pallet Town News. I'm Gunther Frend." the anchor introduces himself.

"Remember when he was just a kid, making videos for class projects? He was so cute." Delia says.

"Yeah and then he got older and started making videos at my hotel." Max recalls.

"What kind of videos?" Delia asks.

"I don't know but room service complained about his messes all the time." Max replies.

"In other town news…" Gunther reports "today was the funeral for one of the most well human faces in poke'mon history. Professor Samuel Oak."

Tracy groans in disappointment "Since when is the news sad?"

"Here's the professor with his predecessor, Tracy Sketchit." Gunther reports, and a picture of the two pops up on the screen, making Tracy more depressed.

Tracy whimpers.

"This is boring." Joey says "I wanna watch my show."

"Joey, be respectful. Tracy wants to watch." Duplica shoots him a glare.

"No it's fine." Tracy wipes his eyes "I don't wanna watch it. Too many memories."

Joey changes the channel. "And now a new episode of 'Professor Poke' on HBO." the voice over says.

Tracy whimpers again.

A professor in a lab coat teaches a class room of students. "Who can tell me why a slowpoke evolves into a slowbro when a shelder bites its tail?" he asks while using a stick to point to pictures on the board behind him. Silence follows his question "How about you, nerd!" Professor Poke uses a long stick to poke a student in glasses in the third row.

"Ow what the hell? I'm trying to do an assignment you gave me." the student angrily responds.

"I'm sorry wrong answer." the professor jabs the student harder with the stick this time.

"Professor Bloke, put down that science pole." a girl pleads to him with tears. Her backlash is met with a forceful poke in the face from the Professor and his 'science pole.'

"Please, call me Professor Poke" the professor grins and the show's theme song plays: "Professor Poke, jabbing's his joke, probably because he does coke."

Tracy wipes another tear from his eye "This show is based on Sammy."

Back to the show, the professor is reading when the bell rings. He slams the book shut and cheers "Oh yeah. Class dismissed! Everybody get the fuck out and give me some skin on your way! Yeah!" he stands by the door and high fives his students as they walk out. "This is how we dooo it!" he sings and high fives. He pokes the 'nerd' in the back of the head with his pole though and points to someone else, establishing blame.

"It was a great lesson today, Professor Poke." a beautiful female student of his says with a smile. She's the last one in the class.

"Thank you. Maybe later tonight we could get together…and I could poke you in the vagina." he winks.

"You can poke me any time professor" the girl grabs his groin.

The professor grabs her ass and kisses her hard against the wall and then gives her ass a smack as she leaves, followed by a stiff poke of his science pole.

"Where is this school? ASU?" Delia rolls her eyes.

Later in the show, the 'nerd' student as the professor described, gets on to his face book page and notices he's been poked by his professor. "Noooooooo!" he exclaims.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile outside on the patio, Jessie is talking with James, May, Gisele, and Roxanne.<p>

James was in the middle of a story. "And then with a swipe of his claw, he defeated that Persian. But found that his true love valued that of the evolved form more."

"Aww what a sad story." Roxanne wipes a tear from her eye.

"I miss him." Jessie smiles, thinking about him.

"Yeah, but he's dead now." James says.

"Geez, James we know. You don't have to say it that way." she glares at him.

"He's dead?" May asked, surprised.

"He died along time ago, May." Gisele tells her.

"No one tells me things." May frowns, and receives a comforting hug from Gisele.

"So Roxanne…I have a question." Jessie speaks.

Roxanne gets nervous, having been asked many similar questions over the years "Okay. Go ahead."

"What was it like to have a penis?" Jessie asks, curious.

"Ugh." Roxanne rolls her eyes.

"Why don't you ask me?" James turns to Jessie "I still have one."

"I want to get feedback from a girl. In your experience which is better?" Jessie puts a finger to her lip.

Roxanne sighs "Well I gave it up didn't I?"

"I used to think about getting a sex change. Was it worth it?" James asks.

May and Gisele look at each other, freaked out.

"Are you really surprised?" Jessie asks them.

"Can we talk about something else? Those days are behind me." Roxanne asks, feeling uncomfortable.

"Well I also wanna know how it was possible for you to rear a child. I mean I don't get it." Jessie scratches her head.

"Well I don't get how you get your hair to look like you were in one of those Trojan vibrator commercials." Roxanne counters.

"Touché." Jessie responds.

Back inside, in Dust's room, he, Ross, Phoebe, and Monica(I keep picturing the Friends cast when I list these names. What was I thinking? anyways) they're all smoking weed.

"Have you guys ever stopped to think that maybe this is all a game?" Dust asks "maybe we're pawns in a game. A poke'mon game if you will…"

Ross and the girls laugh their asses off. "What about a sex game?" Monica giggles and rubs Ross' thigh.

"I think you're right." Ross places his hand over Monica's. The two lean in to kiss when a knock at the door interrupts them.

"Kids it's dinner time." Delia opens the door. "Why is it so smokey in here? And it smells funny."

"No reason mom." Dust says, nervously.

"Oh okay. Well come on down and eat." she walks out of the room.

"I can't believe she bought that. You didn't even give a reason. Quite the contrary." Phoebe laughs.

"Well she is my brother's mom." he laughs.

Phoebe also laughs "…whaaat?" she's confused.

* * *

><p>So about half an hour later the entire house is seated at the table eating, and listening to Todd talk about his experience with the professor. "He basically put me on the map when he sent me to Poke'mon Island. After that I was making bank and banging hoes left and right. I owe me career to the professor."<p>

"Do you think I'm a hoe, Todd?" Misty asks, angrily.

"Yeah, Todd. Do you think we're hoes?" May asks, sitting next to Misty, which makes her roll her eyes.

"No, May. We're exclusive now remember? Misty doesn't even live with us anymore. But if you ever wanted to hook up again I'm all for it." Todd gives her a wink.

"There are children at the table, asshole." Misty reminds him "Including your children."

"They're almost 18. They can handle it." Todd dismisses it.

Speaking of one of their children, Joey has a camera that he holds below the table, recording up skirt views of some of the girls wearing skirts like Monica and Gisele. "Oh yeah." he smiles as he zooms in on camel toe.

All the high kids at the table stuff them selves with food of all sorts. Ash notices his brother licking his plate "You got your big bro's appetite, Dusty." Ash smiles.

"Why is the room spinning?" Phoebe asks loudly.

"It's not. Are you feeling okay, honey?" Duplica asks.

Phoebe just laughs in response.

"What's in this food, Delia?" Duplica asks. "I think it's making the kids crazy."

"I didn't do anything. I didn't put any hallucinogens in it this time." Delia answers.

"Hey Ash I've been meaning to ask you something." Todd speaks.

"Sure what's up?" Ash takes a sip of his drink.

"Where's Jynx at?" Todd rests his chin on his palm.

Silence ensues through out the table. Not a sound is made until Ash breaks the silence.

"Her name is Nikki!" Ash stands up and knocks over his plate and glass, spilling his beverage, gets up and storms out of the kitchen to his bedroom.

Ross, Dust, Phoebe, and Monica all laugh hysterically, still being effected by the weed they smoked. The laughing becomes contagious and spreads to everyone else, causing a full out laugh riot. When it finally subsides, Delia is the first to speak.

"Okay so anyways. What happened is Mayor Dawn, along with the law makers in Pallet Town outlawed human/poke'mon marriage. So they had to divorce, and Jynx…Nikki hasn't been seen since." she explains.

"And their daughter?" Todd asks.

"Their daughter was ruled by the court to be a poke'mon and she was captured by a passing trainer when she was out playing one day…" Delia answers. "They took my grand daughter." she sniffles.

"This is so weird." Ashley says leaning into Dust.

"You gotta be high to understand. Trust me." Dust replies.

"I think we should form a search squad and find them." Ross says to his high friends.

"No, Ross. That's the weed talking." Monica says.

* * *

><p>After dinner, the house was clearing out so everyone could go back to their homes except for people like Brock, Misty, etc who were visitors in town and would be sleeping at the Ketchum mansion for a week.<p>

As everyone filed out, Jessie handed each person a little baggie. "And here's one for you. And for you." she hands one to Max and Molly "And you too" she hands one to Monica.

"What is this stuff, Jessie?" Molly examines the content of the bag.

"Poke'juana. Now move along. Go home and smoke this shit." she smiles warmly.

"What about us, Jessie?" Ash asks, finally re-emerging from his room.

"I haven't forgotten about you guys. I have enough for everyone." she dumps her back pack. Tons of bags of 'poke'juana' fall out.

"What do you say, babe?" James turns to Delia.

"Well okay. As long as it isn't marijuana." Delia picks up a bag as her son Dust rolls his eyes.

"Wait we have to do this responsibly." Misty says "I'll check and see if there's plenty of snacks in the kitchen." Misty walks away to find out.

"I also brought you each a bag of chips." Jessie passes out the bags.

Hours later, after their highs wore off, Jessie gets into her car and drives home while Ash waves to her. He smiles and turns around to an empty living room. "Well that was fun." he walks down the hall, passing one of the guests rooms. He hears noises coming from inside. He opens the door to see May on her hands and knees getting pounded by Todd.

Ash watches closely as Todd rams his cock in and out of May's pussy. He watches their facial reactions, expressing great pleasure. He listens to them moan. The scene turned him on, as well as making him sad, as he felt left out. He sighs and closes the door.

He continues his journey down the hall when his attention is grabbed by sounds coming from another room. He opens the door to see Brock fucking his wife, Roxanne, which frankly disgusted him knowing that Roxanne used to be Ritchie. He quickly closed the door.

Once more some moaning drew his attention to another room. When he opened the door, he was even more disgusted to see James and his mother having sex.

He watches his mother scratch James' back and wrap her legs around him as he penetrated her. "Your cock is so big!" she tells him.

Ash shuts the door and holds his hand to his stomach, feeling queasy. But despite being grossed out he couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy and sadness for the fact he was without a sexual partner.

He continues on the path to his room with his head down and his hands in his pockets. He looks up to see at the end of the hall, Joey, standing there with a camera recording and his pants dropped while stroking his cock. Ash raises his eyebrow but decides to walk over and see why he's so excited.

He sneaks up behind him and realizes that he has the camera pointed into a room with the door partially opened, filming Ashley taking off her clothes. His jaw drops at the sight. Ashley slowly pushes her tight pants down her legs until she's left with just a bra and a thong on.

"Oh sweet." Ash smiles.

Joey shrieks quietly and turns around "I'm not doing anything I-"

"It's okay it's okay. I've seen worse. Carry on…and send me the link afterwards." Ash winks and walks back in the direction of his room.

He approaches Misty's room and stops 'I wonder if Misty would be willing to sleep with me…' he reaches out for the door knob and then pulls back "Nah. I wish." he continues on and walks into his room.

Inside her room, Misty lays on the bed naked, rubbing her vagina and moaning 'I'm so horny I'd have sex with the next guy I see' she thinks.

Ash takes off his shirt and tosses it in the dirty clothes hamper, followed by his pants. He opens the door to the bathroom and screams in shock and disgust at the sight of Chandler fucking the carton full of macaroni again.

"Get out I'm in here." Chandler tells him.

"My milk. I was wondering what happened to it. You bastard." Ash looks away, disturbed.

"I didn't know what else to use." Chandler explains.

"Get the hell out of my bathroom!" Ash yells.

Chandler walks out of the room and into the hall, holding the carton with his penis still inside.

Back in Misty's room, she continues to masturbate. The window above her bed slides open, and in crawls a burglar in all black, including a ski mask. He freezes at the sight of the naked woman touching herself.

Misty notices him "Well don't just stand there. Fuck me." she tells him.

The burglar shrugs his shoulders, lowers his pants and sticks his throbbing cock into Misty's vagina and proceeds to fuck her.

"Oh yeah, that's it. That's it…what's your name?" Misty asks and moans.

"Just call me Thief." he replies.

"Oh yeah, Thief. Fuck me." Misty moans.

_You don't have to tell me. I know it was a strange beginning to the third installment of this franchise. But I'm trying to up the ante if I can. It's the third of the trilogy right? That means more crazy sex! and just crazy whack period. Leave your review please =)_


	2. Ash's Pass

**Chapter 2**

Misty's eyes flutter open in the morning to find her breasts being fondled by her masked lover from last night. He still had on his ski mask but was naked from the neck down.

Misty shrieks and pulls a thin blue sheet over her body. "What are you doing?"

"I can't help it. You're just so…beautiful. I have to touch you." the burglar explains.

"Look about last night. I was really horny, and kinda drunk. I don't normally sleep with strangers." Misty explains. "You didn't cum inside me did you?" she asks, worried.

"No I came on your thigh…" he answers "I cleaned it up. I'm a gentleman."

"You broke into this house and had sex with a random drunk girl and you're a gentleman?" Misty asks.

"Yeah so come on. How about a morning quickie?" the thief slides closer to Misty and kisses her cheek as she turns her head.

"No. I'm sober. I'd look bad if I did it with you now." Misty says as the man kisses her neck, down to her breasts, where he licks and sucks on her nipples. "I'm not a slut. I'm not that easy."

The thief kisses and licks lower, to her smooth stomach. He gently squeezes her breasts in his hands as his mouth moves down her body.

"I can't…" Misty says, and pushes down on the thief's head with her right hand.

He licks the outside of her vagina and sucks on her clit. He inserts his tongue inside her pussy, and uses it to make her moan.

"Okay. Fuck me!" Misty squeals.

The thief flips Misty on to her stomach. She quickly gets on her elbows and knees, ready to take it doggie style. The man sticks his cock inside her pussy and proceeds to fuck her.

With his hands on her ass, he thrusts his hard cock in and out of her wet pussy hard and fast, making her moan like crazy.

Misty squeezes the pillow in front of her and buries her face in it as she takes the pounding. The man pulls her head back up by her hair. This action makes her moan louder.

"Oh! Oh! Ohhh! Ah! Ah! Oh god!" Misty screams.

"Misty are you okay?" Delia asks in the hallway with her ear pressed to the door, concerned.

Misty gasps and the man slows his thrusting way down. "Yeah!" she shouts "I'm just singing…rah rah, ah, ah, ah. Roma, roma, ma. Gaga, ooh la la. Want your bad romance." she sings.

"Okay. Well breakfast is on the table." Delia tells her.

"Okay. Be there in a minute." Misty answers "ohh, ah, ah, ah. Ooh la la." she moans as her mate resumes fucking her.

Delia knocks on Todd and May's door "Breakfast time you guys."

"We'll be out in a second." Todd shouts back and then resumes fucking May.

He on his shins and her waist in his tight grip, he rams his cock in and out of May's pussy.

"Oh god, Todd that's it. Right there." May arches her back and squeezes her own breasts.

As Todd fucks May, he visualizes her as Misty's daughter, Ashley. "Oh yeah. Take my cock, Ashley. Take it."

"Ashley?" May glares at him. "Your daughter?"

"Ash. Take my cock, Ash. Take it." Todd continues fucking her.

Delia knocks on the next door "Joey, breakfast is ready!"

"I'm cumming!" Joey shouts. He holds his camera with one hand and strokes his cock in the other while watching his footage from last night of Ashley taking off her clothes(remember, Ashley is his half sister. Different mothers, same dad. That sick bastard)

"Ashley." Delia knocks on her door now "Breakfast!"

"I'll be out in a few minutes" Ashley responds. She moans in bed, masturbating.

She shoves a Wii remote in and out of her pussy, while imagining that Brock's son, Chandler is fucking her. The thought of him pounding her with his cock drives her crazy.

Delia walks to Ash's room and opens his door "Sweetie it's breakfast-ahh!" she shrieks at the sight of her son masturbating with a fleshlight.

"Mom what are you doing?!" Ash turns the volume down on the porno on his laptop.

"Seriously? Come on it's 8a.m. It's too early for this behavior." Delia crosses her arms.

"Would you just get out?!" Ash yells, holding a pillow in front of his lower body.

"Okay but you better wash your hands afterwards." she turns to close the door.

Ash throws a pillow at the door as it closes. He turns the volume back up, and resumes pumping his penis into the fleshlight to the video footage from all those years ago of his friends having sex.

Dust opens his eyes for this first time this morning, facing the wall. He yawns, and rolls over to see Chandler stroking his cock to a poster of a model in a bikini on the back of the door.

"Ahhh!" Dust yells, and jumps up.

"Ahh!" Chandler pulls his shorts back up. "Hey…buddy."

"Dude what the fuck are you doing?!" Dust asks angrily.

"Your mom told me to get you for breakfast…and then I saw this poster…" Chandler points back.

"You fucking sicko. Control your self." Dust gets out of bed and walks out the door to the bathroom.

Chandler stands there for about five seconds and then closes the door and pulls his shorts back down. He grabs his cock and strokes it as he stares at the poster.

Dust gets in the bathroom and looks into the mirror. He sighs. "oh what the hell" he closes the lid on the toilet, sits down, pulls down his boxers and starts jerking off too.

In the kitchen James and Delia have the table prepared with breakfast. They sit there patiently waiting for everyone. James starts to whistle to pass the time. His eyes wander the room until they gaze upon his mate's beautiful eyes.

"What's taking everyone so long?" Delia crosses her arms and looks into Jimmy's eyes.

"You know what we haven't done in awhile?" James raises his eye brows several times

"We just had sex last night, Jimmy." Delia reminds him.

"Not bend you over the table sex." he licks his lips "I haven't fucked you like that in so long…"

Delia sighs at the realization and the memories. "Make it quick." she gets up and walks to the end of the table where James meets her. He grabs and kisses her hard.

James smacks Delia's ass firmly, and then knocks the plates, silverware, and glasses off the end of the table on to the ground and bends her over the edge. He lifts up her dress and pulls her panties down her legs.

Delia moans "Give me your thick Jim." she demands.

James pulls down his pants and his boxers, exposing his erect penis. He sticks it inside the vagina before him and thrusts in and out with his hands on the table for support.

Brock and Roxanne walk out of the hall and turn the corner to the entrance of the kitchen where they are frozen by the scene in front of them.

"Oh dear fuck." Roxanne shields her eyes with her right hand.

"Breakfast is ready huh?" Brock whispers "what are we having? Scrambled eggs?"

"Delia hit menopause decades ago. That isn't possible." Roxanne whispers back.

"I told you we should have had sex this morning but you were all nooo we don't wanna be rude. Well that's rude." Brock crosses his arms.

"It's their house. They can do what ever they want." Roxanne tells him.

"On the table where people eat? Screw this, I'm gonna go release my pocket monster…Flaccid, and watch it evolve into Erection and make it use its sperm attack." Brock runs back down the hallway.

Roxanne sighs.

Brock quickly runs back to her "Unless you wanna battle my erection with your vagina. It could use constriction and-"

"Okay fine. Enough with the poke'mon battle metaphors." Roxanne takes Brock's hand and they run back down the hall together to their guest room to have sex.

Brock can be heard shouting "Pound it now!"

* * *

><p>After the multiple and simultaneous sex sessions within the house, everyone now found themselves seated at the dining room table eating breakfast. Several of them enjoy their own custom breakfast to apply to their complex tastes and desires that can only be explained in detail by a good writer.<p>

Brock clangs his glass of orange juice with his fork to get the attention of everyone at the table. He clears his throat "It's a beautiful Sunday morning. The kids have to go to school tomorrow. Why don't we go to the fair, hit up the beaches, visit a museum or two, maybe do a little fishing. I know Misty loves to fish. We could go to a nice restaurant or hell have an all out barbecue, ooh and get some wine. Oh what a joyous day it will be."

"Brock…" Delia speaks "we have to go to Sam's will hearing today."

"FUCK!" Brock throws his half empty glass or orange juice at the wall, shattering it.

"Brock Slate!" Delia exclaims, standing up out of her seat, and shooting Brock a menacing glare.

"Brock!" Roxanne yells. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Ketchum. He's been a little stressed and winded up lately. Brock, clean up the mess."

"Hmph" Brock expresses his apathy and gets out of his seat, heading for the mess. He uses a wash towel to dry the juice and grabs a broom and a dust pan to sweep up the glass.

"Well that got my heart racing. I'm ready for a will hearing." James says, in a good mood.

"Do the vibrant and youthful members of this table have to attend the hearing?" Dust asks. "I wanted to show our young guests the town since they'll be staying all week."

"Well I suppose that would be fine." Delia answers.

"Well let's get a start on things, young people. Let's go." Dust gets off his chair and marches out of the dining room.

The likes of Ashley, Chander, and Joey glance at one another. "What?" Chandler quietly says.

Dust pokes his head back in the dining room "Hurry the fuck up!"

"Dust! Manners." Delia glares.

"Sorry." Dust apologizes "Please hurry the fuck up."

Ashley, Chandler, and Joey excuse themselves from the table and follow after Dust.

"I don't think we should be teaching our son that's okay to curse as long as he uses the word 'please' in his cursing statements." James tells Delia.

"Believe it or not, Jimmy. But I am a pretty perfect mother." Delia tells him.

"You're such a prig, Mr.s Ketchum." Todd blurts.

"A what?" Delia shoots Todd a glare.

"Uh nothing." Todd sweat drops and resumes eating his waffles.

"I know." Ash smiles and pulls out a device "I'll use my wordy-dex." he types in the word 'prig'.

"Prig" wordy dex analyzes "A self-righteously moralistic person who behaves as if superior to others."

Delia smiles "That's me." she laughs, followed by the rest of the table and Brock, who laughs as he mops up the floor.

* * *

><p>About an hour later, Dust has lead his group to down-town Pallet, showing them all the hot spots. "Here you'll see our future mall under construction." Dust narrates "There's the vibrator shop, and the pocket pussy shop. And there's the anal dilator shop. I never understood why they didn't just combine the three into one big store."<p>

Dust leads the group, with Ashley walking just behind him. Chandler and Joey trail them at the back. Chandler checks out Ashley's ass, not hearing a word that Dust is saying. When they come to a stop at a light, Chandler notices that Joey is also checking out Ashley's ass.

"Hey, dude." Chandler whispers. "Are you checking out your sister's ass?"

"Is that weird?" Joey replies.

"That depends. Do you wanna fuck your sister?" Chandler asks.

Joey grins "Yeah I do."

"You wanna fuck your sister?" Chandler whispers loudly.

"She's not my full sister. We don't have the same mom." Joey explains.

"But you have the same dad." Chandler reminds him.

"It's not as weird as it would be if we had the same mom though." Joey tries defending himself.

"You have issues." Chandler shakes his head.

"Whatever you say, sandwich fucking, carton fucking, jerking off in school boy." Joey retorts, and resumes walking after Dust and Ashley.

The teens walk by a restaurant. "There's crazy old Barry Busey." Dust says, referring to the man sitting outside the restaurant.

"Maybe you're the crazy ones." Barry says, his eye twitching "Do you pour hot sauce in eyes and orifices for pleasure?"

Dust and the others stare at him, bewildered. "No." Dust answers.

"Then you're crazy. Crazy I tells ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Barry takes a bottle of hot sauce and pours it into his eyes and nostrils. Then he pulls down his pants and sticks the bottle up his anus. "Oh god! Oh fuck yesssss! Hotter…hotter. HOTTER!" he screams in pleasure.

Dust and the others quickly walk away, practically running out of fear.

* * *

><p>Ash and company arrive at a law firm and walk into a large office with a long rectangular table. There they see Tracy, Phoebe, Max, Molly, Gary, and Rick plus two female characters who have not yet been introduced in this fic. Let's do that in the following scene…<p>

Hugs, handshakes, and salutations are exchanged as everyone becomes reacquainted. "Who are the sexy unintroduced females?" Brock asks, checking them out.

"Down, boy." Roxanne pounds her fist into Brock's groin, making him whimper and lean over in pain.

"This is my cousin, Melanie." Gary introduces the gorgeous raven haired woman wearing a necklace with a Celebi charm.

"Nice to meet you all." she shakes the hands of Brock, Roxanne, and those not as close to the Oak family like the Ketchum's.

"And this is my sister, Daisy." Gary introduces the beautiful green eyed, brunette woman in her forties.

"Hello, there." Brock takes her hand in his "You make Misty's sister, Daisy look like a pile of Muk puke. Hell you make Misty look like hairy undesirable, impenetrable, waste basket of Grimer shit."

Brock receives a kick in the groin from Roxanne, and a forceful tug on the ear from Misty, who drags him away while muttering some lame retort while he struggles and whines like old times.

"Sorry about my friend." Ash says to Daisy "He's Brock. That's just how he is."

"He's just a man with a penis. He can't help it." Daisy responds. She leans in and whispers to Ash "I'm actually quite fond of them inside me." she winks and walks away chuckling.

"Uhhh…" Ash watches her walk away, fantasizing about fucking her.

"Hey what did she say to you?" Gary asks, getting closer to him.

"Uhhh…nothing. She just said that the weather is beautiful today." Ash grins, putting his hand on the back of his head.

"Oh okay." Gary walks away with a smile.

"Hey." Rick approaches Ash "What did Daisy say to you?"

"She said she likes dicks inside her!" Ash whispers loudly and happily with a grin and his hand on the back of his head.

"Sweet." Rick nods. "I'll talk to you later. I gotta get the camera ready to document." he walks to the table and sifts through his bag.

"Hey, everyone!" a man in an expensive suit and a tie walks into the office with a folder of files in his hand. He was Professor Oak's lawyer.

"Hi, Phil!" half the room greets him.

"Are we ready to get some free shit up in here?!" he uses his hands to gesture: raising the roof.

"Hell yeah!" Max exclaims.

"Gary, long time no see." Phil shakes Gary's hand.

"You saw me last week. Remember?" Gary winks.

"Of course. You provide this town incredible service. You're doing God's work." Phil gives him a pat on the back.

"What service does Gary provide?" Misty curiously asks Tracy.

"He runs a brothel on the beach called Misty's…brothel." Tracy realizes who he's talking to.

"The fuck?" Misty's eye twitches, becoming enraged.

* * *

><p>Dust continues giving a tour to Ashley, Chandler, and Joey. "Here we are in the restaurant district. There's lots of great places to eat. I personally know the owners of M&amp;M's right here." he says as the walk in front of the building. "Well you met them at the funeral yesterday."<p>

The three visitors seem bored. "Where are the sluts at in this town?" Chandler asks.

"I know where one is." Dust smirks.

The four teens walk in through the doors of_ The Max_ hotel(previously known as 2 The Max), where Max and Molly's daughter, Monica stands behind the front desk as receptionist.

"Hi, Dust!" Monica comes out from around the counter and gives him a hug. "What brings you by here?"

"I was showing my guests the town." Dust answers.

Monica's eyes fixate on Joey and Chandler. "I see. How would you boys like me to show you my pussy?"

Ashley chokes on her own saliva.

"Fuck yes." Chandler grins.

"I concur." Joey nods, happily.

"Well I'm kidding." she chuckles, and leans into the two boys, whispering to them "maybe another time." she winks.

Chandler looks to Joey next to him and whispers "Behind the back fist bump in three. 1-2-3-bump." Chandler puts his right arm behind his back and bumps Joey's left fist behind his back.

* * *

><p>Back at the law firm, Ash and all the others squeezed in, sitting around the large table as Professor Oak's lawyer, Phil presents them with their inheritance.<p>

"This priceless poke'mon tea set, my client leaves to Delia Ketchum." Phil reads. A woman, sharply dressed, hands a box with the tea set to Delia.

"Isn't that nice?" Delia looks through the box with a smile. James looks with her "This'll probably turn into a frantic bidding war on eBay this week."

"To Todd" Phil continues "my client leaves a bunch of old discarded photographs from Poke'mon Island."

The sharply dressed woman hands Todd the box. He opens it up and looks through it. He pulls out photographs with no poke'mon in the shot, resulting in large X's being drawn through them in red sharpie. Other photographs include smiling Professor Oak face stickers.

"I remember this one" he holds up an breath taking picture of an Articuno "It's so beautiful, but Oak said that a different picture was much better. But he was wrong. Wrong!" Todd puts his head on the table, sobbing into his arms.

"My client leaves to Tracy: the solar helicopter." Phil reads "The charger is missing though, so he advises that you purchase a new one."

The sharply dressed woman hands Tracy the manual and the keys to the copter. "Sweet." Tracy kisses the keys.

"My client wishes to leave the G.S ball to his grandson, Gary." Phil reads. "The actual ball is not in the box. Inside are the directions to the ball. It's supposed to be very secretive…he actually wrote that. Not my words." he explains.

The sharply dressed woman hands Gary a key and a small box with a lock on it. "What am I supposed to do with a non-functional poke'ball?" Gary asks, examining the box.

"Your grandfather suggested playing baseball with it." Phil replies. He clears his throat "To Jessie, my client leaves 37 pounds of POKE'JUANA. And 10 pounds to Tracy to use as inspiration for continuing his poetry legacy."

The sharply dressed woman drops a bag full of the stuff in front of Jessie, and another one in front of Tracy.

"I bet this will heighten the helicopter flying." Tracy says to himself.

"I hope ya'll aint afraid of heights" Jessie says "case we're gonna take a trip to the moon, playa's!" she distributes Ziploc bags of poke'juana amongst the table.

"My client leaves his Misty's Brothel membership access to Ash Ketchum." Phil reads.

Ash squeals like a teenage girl as the sharply dressed woman hands him a laminated membership card. "I will make the professor proud." he crosses his heart.

"To a Miss Misty Waterflower my client leaves a refurbished dilator ." Phil reads and the sharply dressed woman hands her the vibrator.

"Egh." Misty extends the vibrator away from her in between the tips of her index finger and thumb. "That's just great…I can't imagine where this has been."

* * *

><p>FLASHBACK:<p>

The dilator sits on the mantle of the fire place…for some reason, when suddenly It's picked up by…Muk. He examines the dilator, and then shoves it up his anus. "Muuuuuk" he moans in pleasure as it vibrates intensely.

Professor Oak walks into the room. He's immediately disgusted at the sight. "Yeek. I better have that refurbished and given to Misty after I die. That's the obvious choice."

* * *

><p>Dust and his guests approach Pallet High. "Here's where I go to school." he tells them. "It was recently ranked Kanto's 54th best high school."<p>

Joey snaps a photograph of the school. He raises his hand. "Is there a uniform requirement here? Like girls have to wear mini skirts?"

"Sadly no." Dust answers "This town has had conservative roots throughout its history, and even with a notorious mini skirt wearer back in her heyday: as mayor, Dawn has become more feminist and voted down the transition of mini skirts in our schools."

"Does this school have a football team? Say with a handsome ripped quarterback?" Ashley asks, hopeful.

"No" Dust responds "since Dawn became mayor, she put more money into academics and less into certain extracurricular activities such as sports to improve the education, though since then the school went from being ranked 27th to 54th. Well there's still a sex club…mostly filled with dweeby guys hoping to get laid."

"Hey I know you." a familiar voice to Dust penetrates the airwaves. He approaches them, wearing an all blue outfit whose description is not necessary to the story(I'm not writing a best seller here. The theme of this story is whacky humor and dicks pounding pussies).

"Oh great…" Dust is unpleased "Hi, Junior."

"That's Bryan Jr to you, Dust buster." Bryan grins(that's right, Bryan bred with some chick and had a son)

"Everyone, this is Bryan. He's the town douche." Dust introduces him.

Bryan looks Ashley up and down, slowly and thinks 'I should express my desire to fuck her. Be cool.' he pushes Joey out of the way "I want to fuck you!"

"Eww. No." Ashley shoves her hand in Bryan's face, pushing him away.

"We'll just see about that." Bryan pulls out a Magic 8 ball from his pocket and shakes it "Almighty God ball answer me this: Does this beautiful whore want me to fuck her?

Magic 8 ball: My reply is no.

"That was a practice." Bryan shakes it again.

Magic 8 ball: Without a doubt.

"Yes!" Bryan exhibits an emphatic fist pump. "Yeah what now? Pull down your pants and bend over. I've got lube…" he holds out a miniature bottle of lubricant, but realizes that Dust and the others have left. There's nothing but DUST in the wind.

Down the road, Dust, Ashley, Chandler and Joey have rounded the corner of the school, having run away. "That was a close one." Ashley wipes her brow.

"Sorry about that." Dust apologizes "Bryan is a narcissistic arrogant asshole who takes his marching orders from a magic 8 ball or GOD…but there's one in every town so…"

Soon they hear some moaning coming from the alley behind the school. "What's that?" Joey asks, curious.

"Our next stop on the tour. Lady and gentleman. They call this ROMP ALLEY." Dust leads them to the entrance of the alley behind the school, where they see a man and a woman having sex, doggy style on an old sofa next to a dumpster.

Joey records the action on his camera "Awesome."

Dust whispers "This is where people come to have sex if they don't want to do it at home, or don't want to pay for a hotel. Popular place for under-age sex and affair sex especially."

"Damn that chick is hot." Chandler comments.

"Hey wait a second. That's the weather girl…" Dust realizes "And that's Gunther Frend. The news anchor."

"Looks like she'll be expecting a light drizzle." Chandler hi-fives Joey.

* * *

><p>Back at the firm, the hearing has ended, and Ash and company are all outside congregating on the lawn where a local vendor cooks and serves food to them.<p>

Misty sticks her plate out in front of the vendor. "Hot dog, please." she smiles.

"Yes, ma'am." The vendor places a hot dog in between her buns. "Big enough for you?" he winks.

Misty giggles with a blush.

"So what's your name? I haven't seen you around these parts." the vendor says.

"My name is Misty. I live in Cerulean City. I work at a surf shop." Misty tells him.

"My name's Prig. I'm a local vendor. I also cater to weddings and for other special occasions. Here's my card." Prig hands her a card with a picture of him sticking a brat into a hot dog bun while winking.

"Maybe I'll be having a special occasion some time soon." Misty winks, and softly bites one of the corners of the card.

"How about you suck on that hot dog." Prig suggests.

"What?" Misty's eyes widen.

"I said how about you eat your hot dog. Don't want it to get cold." Prig sweat drops.

Ash carries a plate loaded with burgers over to Brock, who eats some potato chips in one hand and holds a glass of juice in the other while checking out Melanie by the building. "Hey, Brocko." Ash greets him.

"What's up, man?" Brock makes brief eye contact.

"I wanted to talk to you about…something." Ash takes a bite of one of his five burgers.

"I know that tone…you wanna get your dick wet don't you?" Brock smirks.

"Damn right." Ash takes another bite and swallows "I seek to have sex with a normal woman, non-mom, non-jynx. I want to finally have my first…though technically it would be my third…"

"How about Daisy or Melanie?" Brock suggests.

"I don't wanna do that to Gary." Ash replies.

"You fucked your own mom." Brock reminds him "It's time to raise your standards."

"For the last time: I didn't do that intentionally." Ash snaps angrily.

"Ash, look. I don't blame you okay?" Brock puts his arm around Ash's shoulder, holding his glass of juice, as Ash continues eating "Your mom was hot. Captivating eyes, gorgeous hair, soft delicate skin…and an amazing ass. I'd still plow that thang into a pulp. Mash it up real good. Then I'd make an ass smoothie out of it."

"Gross!" Ash jerks away, accidentally knocking Brock's glass of juice away on to his own mom's shirt just as she walks by, soaking it and highlighting her nipples. "Mom! I'm sorry."

"Oh dear." she pushes her arms against her breasts, squeezing them together.

"Mmm I'd be happy to lick that juice off, Mrs. Ketchum." Brock offers with a glint in his eye.

"Keep your plow away from my mom!" Ash punches Brock on the face.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, after a quick stop and greeting with Phoebe at the laboratory, which is now headed by Professor Tracy Sketchit, Dust and the others walk through a neighborhood on their way to the outskirts of town to visit Ross at work. "That's where my best friend, Ross lives." Dust points to the house as they walk by.<p>

"How fascinating." Chandler says sarcastically, and then a girl walking out of the house next to Ross's catches his attention. She's pretty with long blonde hair, luscious lips, and a little on the thick side: something to grab on to. "Who is that?" he asks.

Dust turns to see the girl throwing a bag of trash into the trash receptacle. "That's Ross's neighbor and fellow school chum of ours, Veronica. She's quiet and uninteresting. She doesn't fit into our storyline."

"I'd fuck her." Chandler says. "Can I get a fist pump anywhere?" he holds his fist out in between Ashley and Joey. Joey bumps his fist.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, out in the middle of the forest, Gisele has treaded into it. "Saria!" she shouts. She waits for an answer. Nearly thirty seconds pass before music begins to play, and Saria leaps down from his perch on a branch.<p>

"Good afternoon, young lady. Looking for my penis? Just follow the music." Saria lowers the ocarina down to his crotch.

"I don't have time for this. I'm here for Ross's bag. He forgot it the last time he stayed out here." she explains.

"It's probably in the house. I'll lead you." Saria leads her to the house.

Saria stands in the living room, waiting for Gisele to re-emerge. She comes out of Ross's room with a backpack. "I got it. I'll be going now." she walks to the front door.

Saria slides over, obstructing her path. "Why don't we give your vagina a good jabbing first?" he winks, while placing his hand on Gisele's shoulder.

"We've been divorced for like five years, Saria. Getting a divorce while continuing to fuck me would just be too perfect for you. I'm not letting it happen." she says, removing her ex-husband's hand from her shoulder.

"I still don't get the whole divorce thing." Saria crosses his arms.

"You cheated on me. Ten times that I know of." she reminds him.

"They were lost, and crying. They needed comfort. They had voids that needed to be filled." Saria chuckles softly.

"Goodbye, Saria." Gisele walks around him and walks out the door.

* * *

><p>Dust and the others approach a Poke'Mart located in between Pallet Town and Viridian City. They walk inside to see Ross behind the counter, wearing an employee's uniform.<p>

"Dusty. What's up bro?" Ross slides over the sales counter and fist bumps his friend. "What's going on, guys?"

"Dust was giving us a tour." Ashley answers.

"How do you guys stay in business way out in the middle of no where?" Joey asks.

"It's simple really. We're the only poke'mart, or mart of any kind that sells poke'juana." Ross holds up a bag labeled appropriately. "Oh dude, you'll never guess what Jessie told me the other day."

"Are you getting promoted?" Dust asks.

Ross smiles "Sort of…" he checks his surroundings before speaking next "she told me that it won't be long until she hits menopause and she really wants to have a baby…and the prospect of fucking her came up. No strings. Just give her a baby. No responsibilities."

"No way. Are you gonna do it? Or do her?" Dust asks, amused.

"I told her I'd have to think about it." Ross answers.

"I'll hit it for you!" Chandler offers.

"Go out and find your own pussy, dude." Ross tells him.

"Ashley." Chandler smacks her ass.

"No!" Ashley slaps his hand away.

"If you're that desperate, you could go to Misty's Brothel at Misty Beach." Ross suggests.

"Bye!" Chandler zooms out of the store.

Ashley rolls her eyes "Boys.."

"What's that sound?" Joey asks, referring to moaning sounds coming from the back of the store.

"Oh yeah." Ross leads them to a door at the back. "We have a deal here. If you make a purchase of five or more dollars…we'll let you use this room. It's popular amongst the kids." Ross opens the door to reveal a teen couple having sex in the missionary position.

A brown haired male and a pink haired female moan as they create friction. Dust nods, and Ashley is stunned. Joey takes out his camera and begins filming. "I'll add in narration later. I'm making a documentary." he whispers.

_Well I didn't really like this chapter, but believe it or not it is going somewhere. Stay tuned._

_P.S:_

_If you like equally funny and sex-filled readings like this, you'll like Bryan's Poke'mon Adve'ntrue, now available for reading._

_A couple other things!_

_I've got a youtube channel in which I've recreated Ash's First using action figures. Details are on my profile._

_And finally if you like Ash's Third, and want it to update faster, then please read my original screenplay which you can also find the information for on my profile. Please send me a private message with your review. The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll update this story. Thanks!_


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